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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Summer ≠ License to Bust Out Tramptacular Wardrobe

First, a rant:

Look, I really understand. You have great gams and want to show them off. I'm not stopping you!

But trust me when I say the rest of us (and yes, this does in fact include men - at least the ones I know) don't really care to see your butt cheeks hanging out of your hoochie shorts, even if you *think* we do. I don't care how toned it is. This goes double if they are PINK gym shorts from Victoria's Secret - letters stamped on your ass is like a sorostitute calling card. Just don't do it. And rolling the waistband down?! Tacky, tacky, TACKY.

Now, I'm the first person to say, "If they don't like it, they don't have to look at me." (This is usually in the context of arm flab.) However, there is a not even remotely fine line between tank tops and ass-revealing ho shorts - it's more like a gaping abyss.

Remember when I said that style reveals more than just your taste in clothes? It also reveals how much you respect yourself? Dressing like you walked off the set of a rap music video shoot - or out of Paris Hilton's closet - does not scream R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  NO ONE will take you seriously in that getup. It looks cheap, stupid, and trashy. Especially when your pocket linings are hanging out in the front. Come on, are you serious with that shit?! Whoever started that should be put out of her misery.

I don't even have a problem with short shorts. Or mini skirts, for that matter. Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it. Just do it with a little class, please. /end rant

Some ways to work it: pick high quality fabrics instead of distressed denim; sport high waistlines, red lipstick, and a wavy 'do for a cute retro pin-up girl look; top with an uber tailored jacket or blouse.

All that said, here are some summer trends I am on board with!

*Cat Eye Sunglasses

I LOVE these - I had some in high school, and I wish I had kept them because they're back! They are fun, flirty, and oh-so-50s. In the picture is Norma Kamali herself wearing some of her own design (I COVET!)... but for a less pricey version (those retail about $250), try "Jackie" by Fossil ($55) or "Cateye Sunglasses" by American Eagle ($16).


If Florence Welch and Amadeus Mozart had a fashion love child, it would be the poster kid for this look! It's Viennese Classicism meets the 60s meets Metropolis.

J'adore! Or maybe I should say "ich liebe"?

For inspiration, check out Marc Jacobs Spring 2010 Collection and Florence + The Machine's music vid for "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)".

"And how do I get this look without dropping $1,000 for a pair of ruffle and pearl trimmed silk shorts?" you might ask. (I must say, I truly envy you if you don't have to ask this question, because you can just go to Saks and buy the real deal!)

When I'm channeling my inner Hapsburg courtesan in the Real World, I typically choose to wear well-fitting jeans and pair it with a simple romantic blouse, perhaps pastel or white with puffed sleeves, hair clips or necklaces embellished with pearls, and pumps of some kind.

To the right are some examples of budget-friendly, wearable ways to interpret this trend from the closet of Yours Truly! And only two of these pieces cost me over $25 - any guesses? A pompadour bang and some pink lip gloss could finish off the look.


Creepy disco-light coffins known as tanning beds *shudder*? OUT.
Not looking like Leatherface by age 45? IN!

Sunscreen is a girl's best friend when it comes to looking younger longer, especially if you are naturally fair.

My personal favorites:

Philosophy's Shelter - SPF 30 specifically formulated for your face. It's non-greasy, and smells like lavender - what's not to love?? I use it everyday as a moisturizer in the morning.


Laura Mercier's Oil-Free Tinted Moisturizer with SPF 20 - The spf isn't ideally high, but it wears like a light foundation, giving beautiful skin coverage. I like the oil free myself, because I have a distinct T zone that just looooves oily stuff in the summer, but the regular is also nice if you don't have that problem (lucky).

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch Sunblock with SPF 85 - I'm sure you've heard that using anything over SPF (insert # here) is pointless. Well, my doctor told me that's bullshit... in not so many words. So, I use this! It is AWESOME. I travel to India twice a year for my job, and I have yet to get a sunburn there when I wear this. It's somewhat sweat proof, though you might need to reapply if you're doing intense outdoor stuff. It still feels kinda "sunscreeny" (if you know what I mean), but it's still lighter than most. I don't typically wear it on my face unless I plan to be outside all day at a park or something.

Read more about the serious vanity health advantages to using it at the American Academy of Dermatology's page on the topic.

While I personally don't bother with self-tanner (I happen like my porcelain, I-stepped-out-of-a-Victorian-novel look), and therefore cannot give well-informed product recommendations, if you want the glow without the cancer, I have heard good things about those spray tan places - just don't have a Ross moment, ok?

P.S. I know this is formatted strangely - I'm still trying to get used to Blogger's m.o.


  1. You go to India twice a year! Awesome, where? I have family in Mumbai :) Also I put a link to your blog on my blog post, so that other people will visit this awesome site, thanks again for following me!

  2. Thanks, Sun! I go all over India, including Mumbai. :-) Thanks for the shout out!

  3. Ha cool blog! I like your style :) And I lol'd at "sorostitute calling card" ! Genius! we need more clever girls online ;) x